After a very long time (thankfully), I’m at a crossroad again. I know I need to go forward, but I don’t know exactly where, and certainly not how.

Sometimes, multiple avenues open up at the same time and thoroughly confuse you. One moment, I appear to be on the cusp of something that could potentially turn out great – but the very next, I see a deep abyss which can really be known only if I actually traverse that path.

Which way to go?

It gets worse. Choosing one would cost me the other opportunity forever. The amount of time and effort I need to invest into going into any of these paths is colossal. 2018 might indeed turn out to be the “year of the stretch” for me, irrespective of which path I choose (except if I decide to stagnate, that is).

So, I was in a complete quandary for the past couple of days, and I tried any number of methods (think ‘lots’) to pick one path, but alas, they didn’t work. And just as well.. because when that clarity of thought and decision finally hits you like a bolt of lightning, you know with absolute certainty that you won’t have it any other way. You can be sure that your mind, heart and instincts all point to the same path.

I now have a purpose in mind, and a very long and hard way to go, to get there.


Writer on the rocks



And I let go… :)

And miraculously, just like that, in an instant, I let go! I let go of something I’ve been desperately wanting for a long time now. If it is meant to be, it will be. And if it is not meant to be, well.. what is the point of pushing at a door that refuses to budge?!

I surprised myself tremendously! I didn’t think I had it in me to NOT go behind this.. but curiously, I did, and how! It just took me a long time to get there; for ages, I made myself believe that this should be my sole purpose in life, that I would be absolutely incomplete without it. Hence I went behind it with all my might; I tried everything in my power, I saw positive signs everywhere, I desperately willed my entire being into making this happen.


But now that it didn’t, and it probably won’t.. I am fine! Amazingly, I am just the same, and I feel as whole as I ever did! Now when I look at people who have what I wanted, I feel no envy, no disappointment, no nothing in fact. All I get is this curiously vague sense of detachment, like I’m looking at them from the wrong end of a telescope, and they don’t really hold any interest for me.

Even more amazingly, I feel refreshed! All of a sudden, I realised that in place of this one goal, I can have a 100 new goals, and go behind each of them with a 100 times more zest. I have some wonderful things in my line of sight already, and I’m sure, many more such wonderful things to come.

The best part is that, letting go of things that weigh you down, releases you.. like a catapult! You go from being weighed down into a bottomless pit, to soaring high in the fields you’re best at! This one experience was like the universe’s sign to me that I’m finally.. finally on the right path! 🙂 And with that knowledge, there is just no going back!


Writer on the rocks


So the wait is over, finally! But now it is time to take a lot of decisions – if you know what you want out of life, and how to get it, then this should be easy. Except, it isn’t!

Most time, we actively make a lot of decisions, but then something else entirely ends up happening. But that doesn’t mean we can sit idle without doing any planning. Which is why decisions become difficult – because sometimes even before you make a decision, you know, and you become mentally prepared for the possibility that things may not work out the way you want them to.

Anyway, so this is the update about my too-boring life now. After a couple of strange, but very interesting weeks, I’ve been left disillusioned. Now I’m just trying to get back to normal, but then I don’t know what is normal anymore! 😐


Writer on the rocks.


The waiting is always the hardest part. You do everything in your power… and then you wait. Now is one such waiting period in my life.. and I don’t know what exactly is going to happen at the end of this wait.. but then:



The wait is infuriating because it makes you a question a lot of things – Did I really give my best? Was this a good sign? Was that a bad sign? and so on. Until you know the result, you’re left second-guessing yourself. But most times, the best thing to do is distract yourself with something that won’t leave any room in your brain to think about this. Or else, you might just go mad by the time you get the result.

So, in my case, we’re just going to have to wait and watch! Until then.. where did I put my book? **goes to search for her thankfully inscrutable book so that she doesn’t have to think about the wait anymore!**

Writer on the rocks.

Destiny’s child!

This is what I am at my core – I am a Deist. I believe in a superior higher order, who is in control of everything that happens in life. I truly believe in Destiny or fate or whatever else it is called. I believe that the superior power always does things for a reason, and does what is best for us.

I can go on and on about this topic – but for a change, today, I’m NOT going to write long paragraphs explaining why I’m a Deist. That’s a post for some other day. But this post is a part of the Blogging 101 challenge – where we have to try a new posting style! Since I suck at visual representation, I figured I’d push myself and see what I make of it! Nothing fancy.. just a couple of quotes that represent what I believe in. 🙂


passionate - universe will help

This is only a representation of the overall belief – Destiny is certainly not a concept that can be explained easily. I have plenty of examples of destiny’s manifestations in my own life. And some day, I would love to write a lengthy ruminating post on it.

But until then,


Writer on the rocks.